When my wife, Linda, was diagnosed with cancer July 19, 1998, it was
like being slapped in the face. The pain we felt was the worst I've ever
had. But even then we would not let Satan win. Now, looking back I can see
where God was working, even though we didn't see it then.
Linda had told me that she asked God to keep her going until she could
get Jed (our only son) through school. We had decided to home school and
she wanted to be able to finish what she started. After she found out about
the cancer, she looked back and realized, God had fulfilled that request.
Jed graduated high school in the spring of 1998.
The first thing I can remember is about Jed. Linda and Jed had tried to
get help with his college, but couldn't find any. Then, out of the blue, he
was notified he had received a "Chancellor Scholarship". It would cover
everything, except books, for two years. All he had to do was maintain a "B"
average. Since he had been home schooled, we didn't know how he would
adjust, but he has been doing great. He even made the Dean's List in his
first semester.
Linda and I had been looking for a "new" car, new to us. Nothing
seemed to fit the bill. Then in June, I drove by a car lot and saw a
T-bird. It was almost exactly what we were looking for and at the same time
I was having some trouble with our car. So, with out checking it out very
well, we bought it. It has turned out to be a very good car and has eased
my mind about driving ten miles back and forth to work.
Linda and her brother Bill and sister-in-law Debbie had had a distant
relationship for sometime. We would see each other on Christmas and at
different times. After we told them about the cancer, all that changed. We
all became really close. We prayed together, looked for answers, and tried
to find ways to help Linda, but above all else we became a family. Debbie
would take Linda to chemo twice, and at times, three times a week. She didn't
just take her, she stayed anywhere from three to six hours with her. Linda
enjoyed the time they had together. They talked and worked on different
small projects. The more time they spent together, the closer they became.
I look back at this time and see God gave them a chance to enjoy each other's
company and make up for lost time, because God could have taken her home in
a heart attack or in one of her very low blood sugars. Linda had been a
diabetic for forty years. And in that time I've seen her blood sugar in
teens.
In December, Jed's car (our old car) started making some noise. I knew
the noise was deep in the engine. It sounded like a piston pin or rod
bearings. At this point, it was either replace the engine, about $1,2OO
dollars, or over haul it, about $1,OOO. We decided neither option was good.
So we decided to buy him another car. Once again I was hurried to find a
car we could afford. I found one and made a good deal. Jed has been
driving the socks off it and still going. About a week after we traded
cars, I found out the transmission went out on the old Cougar. God helped
us out again just in time!
On February 2, 1999, after not being able to eat much of anything since
Christmas, I took Linda to the doctor. He instantly put her in the
hospital. Three days later they put a feeding tube in her intestine. The
surgeon put a small tube in so as not to irritate her intestine. But the
plan didn't work. The small tube stopped up, time after time after time.
The surgeon decided to replace the tube with a larger one, after he got
tired of unstopping the small one. This was about three weeks after the
first one was installed. The surgeon warned us that when he removed the old
tube, if he lost the site, he would not be able to put in a new tube. We
started praying about this new problem. Monday night February 22, Linda and
I talked about what time I should get to the hospital that next morning for
the tube replacement. I said 6:OO AM, she said that I should sleep in and
come out later. Her reasoning was that they were going to work her in
that morning between other surgeries. She figured she would get in sometime
after 1O:OO AM or so. When I pulled in the parking lot at 5:5O AM and was
getting out of the car, the most perfect peace fell over me. This was
unlike anything I have ever felt in my life. And in my spirit, God was
telling me that, "He was in control" and for me not to worry. He didn't say
the surgery would turn out OK, simply that He was in control. I went up to
Linda's room to find they were transferring her from her bed to a gurney to
go to surgery at 6:OO AM. She was frantically trying to find out where I
was when I walked in to her room. When I told her what had happened at the
car, it seemed to calm her and I believe the same "peace" came to her also.
The surgery went without a hitch. And since that morning, I have had a
"peace of God which passeth all understanding"!
Linda was transferred from the sixth floor (cancer) to the third floor
(transitional care). After a few days on this floor, one of the nurses from
the sixth floor came to visit us. She told me, she wondered why she ever
took the job of working with cancer patients. She saw so much death. But,
when she was helping Linda, she saw someone that knew where she was going no
matter what the outcome. Linda didn't complain, didn't whine, and didn't
blame anybody or anything for what she was going through. What I didn't
know was that there were several nurses she had touched by her spirit and
love and care for others. She kept her focus on where she was going
(Heaven). Even her medical doctor told me that she had been touched by
Linda and would never be the same person she was before.
I had several small bouts at being depressed. On March 24, a major one
set in. A friend was coming in to sit with Linda so I could go to church
that Wednesday night. I got to go to church so rarely any more. When I
left the hospital that night, I could barely put one foot in front of the
other. I was that beat down. Prayer didn't seem to help. And like I
always am, I didn't allow anyone to see me that way. I was truly hurting.
After church, I made a small detour on my way back to the hospital. It was
after that stop that I was listening to 91.7 on the radio, a Christian
station, and someone had phoned in a request, "Arise My Love" by Newsong.
That was just the medicine my spirit needed. I will never know who called
in that requested song at that exact time. I believe God, put that song in
someone's heart and the DJ played it at that exact moment. When I got back
to the hospital, I flew up the stairs, light as a feather and ready for
anything that might come.
On the evening of March 28, I hurried home to clean up and feed our
three cats and get back to the hospital for another night of staying with my
wife. I always did this as fast as I could. This is something I had been
doing for three weeks. Right after I came out of the garage, where we keep
our cats, I turned and looked out over the yard and was touched by that
glorious "Peace" once again. I came in the house and the phone was ringing.
It was Jed. Linda's feeding tube had pulled out! He told me the surgeon
had been called. So I hurried up and got back out to the hospital. A few
minutes after I got there the surgeon arrived. It was not the same one that
put the tube in the first time. He looked the situation over and decided to
reinsert the tube there in the room. After the tube was replaced they took
a set of x-rays to make sure it was in place. The first set showed it in
place, but he wanted to be certain. So, he ordered another set of x-rays.
This also showed the tube in place. After all this, Linda, from time to time,
would go into seizures. I asked the nurse about this and he said we should
wait for her blood work. Linda was behaving like she does with low blood
sugar, but we tested her and it was fine. Her blood work came back indicating she was dangerously low of potassium. So they started an IV and things
seemed to settle down. At about midnight, I got my Bible out and read to
her for about fifteen or twenty minutes. We always read the Bible as a
family. Then I got up and kissed her and prayed for her. I talked to God
and told Him that I knew He could heal her and she could get up out of that
bed and walk out of the hospital. I also knew He could take her home. I
asked if He would do one or the other. And about five minutes after that
her breathing slowed down and finally stopped. My Linda had gone home. But
this does not end just yet.
At the funeral, I had decided I was going to say a few words of
encouragement I felt God had put on my heart. Sometime during the funeral
procession, a friend's wife had thought about all that was said and gave her
heart to the Lord! So in death there is life eternal for Linda. And in
Linda's death there is new life for a new Christian.
This happened the week of Easter. And I can look ahead and tell you
the "Tomb" is truly Empty!
You may write to the author of this article, Arch Hamilton, at ajr711@hotmail.com.
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