Fellowship
1 John 1:3-7
A Sermon by Dr. Neil Chadwick
There are special moments in our lives when we feel a strong sense of camaraderie, team spirit, or what in the church we call "fellowship". Musicians feel this when they are "jamming", and the music just flows together. Members on sports teams feel it when the momentum is going their way, it seems they can't do anything wrong, as do military units which stumble along in near exhaustion. Rescue teams may experience this feeling when they combine all their energies to bring a group of people to safety. Scouting groups develop this sense of closeness when they spend a few days out in the woods together on a camping trip. The question we're asking is this: what is it that makes this intangible feeling we call "fellowship" possible, or what are the ingredients of fellowship? Is it magic? miraculous? or is there something we do to enable it? Well first, we have to understand that the basic meaning of this word has to do with having something in "common". The New Testament church experienced fellowship - the Scripture says they "had all things common." But before we think about the kind of fellowship spoken of in I John 1, that is, having to do with our relationship with God and with each other in the church, let's examine it in relationship to another institution, that of marriage. Basically, there are three necessary requirements in achieving this state of "Fellowship": be together; do together; and talk together. The first requirement for fellowship is to "be" together. This seems so fundamental, and hardly needing mention. But too often we have heard the argument that if there's not much time to spend together, it's o.k., because "quality" of time is more important than "quantity" of time. Please let me check this out with you. Let's say you and your wife decide to have a night out. You make reservations at a fine restaurant, and dress up as though you're going on a date. (You know, it's not a bad idea. Why does "dating" stop with the repeating of the wedding vows?) You arrive, and are taken by the maitre de to the quiet corner seat. The leaded glass chandelier provides a soft light overhead, and the fresh cut flowers on the table send out a sweet odor, romantic music softly plays in the background. When you place your order, your wife, being more health conscious than you, orders broiled cod. But for you, this special occasion calls for steak - you order the restaurant's best cut of filet mignone. After appetizers and salad, finally your meal arrives. Already an hour has passed, but you haven't been concerned about it because this is such a special time together. However, the magic spell is about to be broken. Your wife's fish entrée nearly fills the oblong platter it rests on, but you quickly notice that the shape of your steak is a cube, one inch wide, one inch high, and one inch deep. You sit in stunned silence for just a moment when the waiter, while filing your water glass, asks, "Is everything all right?" "No," you bark, "everything is not all right. This steak is so puny I could down it in one bite - and I'm paying $18.95 for this?" "But ah," says the waiter, "this steak is the finest cut of meat you will find any where in the whole state. I hope you enjoy it, after all, it's the quality, not the quantity that counts." Few of us would be satisfied with such an answer, and yet many seem to accept it when it relates to time spent with those we say we love. "We don't have much time together, but what we do have is 'quality time.'" The second requirement for fellowship is to "do" together. One idea associated with "koinonia" is that of the "comrade", or "partnership." The plain meaning of this is found in Luke 5:10 where it speaks of "Simon's partners" (NIV). Referring to partnership in ministry, Paul, in II Corinthians 8:23 writes, "As for Titus, he is my partner." (NIV) For a close knit relationship to develop, couples and families need to be doing things together. Do you remember the saying, "The family that prays together stays together"? Well that's only partly true. I have long felt that the statement needs to be amplified to include sayings like, "The family that plays together stays together"; "The family that works together stays together"; and even, "The family that laughs together stays together." Married people often begin to drift apart when the nest starts to empty. Why? Because there's been only one activity the husband and wife have been involved in together - raising, providing for, and training the children. When they're gone, there's nothing in common anymore. There are very few activities where the couple are doing something together, and the relationship is nearly non-existent. The third requirement for fellowship is to "talk" together. Do you remember the title of a popular book a few years ago, something like, "Everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten"? One of the things the author learned was the very simple principle of taking turns. In marriage, the best chance for fellowship to take place is when we apply this to talking. We must take turns talking, and we must take turns listening. I've seen many couples where one is good at talking and the other might be good at listening. But something is still missing. What is needed is for both husband and wife to learn, and practice doing both - talking and listening. This is not a marriage class, but two kinds of listening are helpful, active listening and activity listening. With "active" listening, there needs to be a constant effort to clarify communication. We are constantly battling the twin enemies of faulty perceptions and faulty auditions - there's trouble with the way we see things, and trouble with the way we hear things. Let's talk first about perceptions by looking at the same picture - some will see a young lady, while others will see an old woman, depending on what they had seen (or experienced) before. The problem with auditions is that we often hear things that the person we're listening to isn't saying. We "read" our own ideas into what they are saying. Perhaps this is due to the speed of speech as compared with the speed of thinking. While someone is talking at a speed of, let's say, 400 words per minute, we can think at speeds three times that fast. Our minds seem only too ready to fill in the blank spaces. What is needed is for us to constantly check back with our partner to find out if what we think we're hearing is the same as they think they are saying. Consider this: every time you communicate, you start with an idea in your mind, and then try to express it with words which come out of your mouth. Your partner is picking up sounds in their ears, and interpreting what they hear in their mind. At several points there's opportunity for a change in the message. You don't always say exactly what you think, and the other person not only may not hear what you have said, but may further change the message by giving an interpretation colored by their own ideas. In order to ensure good communication, the loop has to be completed by the "active" listener, checking back to see what if they really understand what it is that the other person is trying to say. What we're calling "activity" listening, on the other hand, is the listening that takes place while doing something else. For example, some very good conversations take place when two people are riding in a car, working together in the kitchen or out in the garage. Now let's apply these three requirements to our relationship with God. We like to repeat the phrase, "Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship." Even the drunken man on the city street once said to me, "I know Jesus as my personal savior." He believed that he had a "personal relationship" with God. How is your fellowship with God? The same three requirements apply. Fellowship with the Lord depends on our "being" with God, "working" with God, and "talking" with God. Let's be honest here. How much of the time this past week were you aware that you were actually in the presence of God? And when we talk about being partners with God, it's not our work "for" God that counts, but rather our work "with" God. Much of what happens today is man's ideas being put to work with the hope of God's blessing. Let's stop doing what we think needs to be done, with God's help, and learn to understand what God is doing, and partner with Him to accomplish His purposes. And last, when it comes to prayer, most people have the idea that it has to do with what we say to God. But even God wants to have a turn once in a while. He doesn't mind hearing our concerns, needs, and even complaints. But there must also be time for us to be hearing what He has to say. But there's still one more application. The text we read also talks about the fellowship we have with one another, and it goes without saying that the same three requirements apply. In order to enjoy the full blessing of fellowship with one another, there must be a willingness to be together. That means that church attendance must be a priority. In most American churches, people seem to have decided that one hour spent with brothers and sisters in church is adequate. Then they wonder why it is that they don't experience the warm relationships with others in the church they once felt. Beyond just being together, we must be willing to work together. If you're not involved in a ministry with the church, please understand that you will often feel that you are on the outside looking in. Working together in the Lord's work breeds closeness. But then too, we must talk together - let's be sure that the communication is good, positive, and effective. And let's be sure that we're talking with the right people. What we all long for, warm, close fellowship, will always be damaged severely when we allow loose lips to talk about other people's business. We do need to talk to each other, but the subject of our conversation must be carefully considered. This is a lesson I learned early on, while I was a student in Bible College. I was in my second or third year, living in the privileged section of housing on the second floor over the dining hall on the campus in Green Lane Pennsylvania. It was not a very well furnished or decorated place - we affectionately called it "Missionary Training Headquarters." One evening a group of students had gathered at my closet-sized room; I was sitting on the chair, three students sat on my bed, and two or three others huddled around the door. We had a good time talking about everything and everybody, and after 45 minutes or so, the group dispersed. I remember it well. I sat alone in my room under great conviction - we had talked about everything and everybody, but not once had we talked about the Lord. The words of a familiar song came into my head, and I printed the title on a piece of cardboard and hung it in my room. It said, "Let's Talk About Jesus." Do we want good fellowship in our marriages? in our church? in our personal relationships with God? Well, there are no short-cuts. Priorities must be set as to how we spend our time, where we invest our efforts, and how we utilize our conversations. The Scripture we read today promises a reward for those who heed the Word. In the KJV, it says, "And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full. " I know that scholars argue over one letter in the manuscripts, so perhaps the NIV translation is correct, "We write this to make our joy complete." Is it "your" joy, or "our" joy? Yes. For everyone, as we work to obtain this fellowship spoken about and demonstrated in the Word of God, there will be abundant joy.  - - Return to Top of this Page  - Email a Link to this Page
- Go To Next Sermon by Dr. Neil Chadwick
 - Back To Sermons Page or to the Sermons Alphabetical List
 - - Download This Sermon
|
